12 December 2011

Of Idiots and Fishes

So I thought the other night, what could I write about next in my blog as nothing is really going on. Then I remembered that I always have awesome stories from work about complete raging idiots and their absence of common sense when it comes to animal care.

Most of my best examples are from the fish dept. Mind you, most of the people who come back there usually have some semblance of how to care for fish. But we get a few gems in there. Usually they all root around the same problems; tank size, fish size, and quantity. I don't know how many times a day I have to repeat myself when it comes to the bigger fish. Of course years of silly myths do not help. Also, people are cheap. They don't want to spend $150 to set up a proper tank for a single $5 fish. That just doesn't make sense in their minds. Which is sad. I get the same thing when it comes to things like hamsters, and smaller lizards. People don't seem to understand that these are living creatures and you, as the owner, need to set up and recreate something that is as close as possible to their natural environment. 

Goldfish. Goldfish are the biggest issue. Years people have grown up being told "goldfish grow as big as the tank you put them in". Which is obviously wrong. They grow like everything else, and by containing them you only risk killing them or making their lives miserable. I have to argue with 3-5 people a day about goldfish, and out of those people maybe 2 will listen. Goldfish are big, dirty fish. So, they need big tanks and very powerful filters. I had one woman tell me I was lying out my ass and just trying to make money when I explained to her proper goldfish care. I even showed her a goldfish care book and a copy of TFH magazine with an article on goldfish. Everyone is obviously lying. So I refused to sell her a fish and she stormed out with the typical "I'll just go to walmart" threat. 

Cichlids and Oscars. Oooohh big mean fishes! What fun you are to own. I was brought up around quite a few rather larger and aggressive fish. If I had the room and money I would have a huge tank with these fish. They have bright colors and act differently than little community fish. They're social to a point, fun to watch, and are much sturdier than most fish. That of course draws people over. People want big fish, people want cool fish. But, most people don't understand what they're getting into. The same thing with the goldfish usually happens with the Oscars, Jack Dempsies, Red Devils... Huge fish, and because they start so small as babies, people think they can stuff them into 5gal tanks. Then you get the idiots who only want them because they're "mean" and "eat live foods". Yeah, Oscars are known for being a bit moody at times, but you should try to make them meaner. It'll only result in problems. And feeding them live foods is stupid. Oscars can live quite well on pellets, frozen and freeze dried foods. It's not cool to watch them gorge out on goldfish, and you are not cool for starving them all week until you can come and get live feeders just to watch them ravage the little fish. You're an idiot, and I will tell you that to your face. I actually just told someone last night that I wasn't selling them any fish at all because the only reason they wanted them was because they were mean. That's immature, childish, and ignorant.

I swear, people should have to come to the store with a list of tank size and what fish they have before they're allowed to get any fish. Because telling me, when I ask what size is your tank, that you don't know and making those arm gestures to a size tank that doesn't actually exist, makes me insane. How do you not know the size tank you bought? And when I take you over and go "point at your tank" and you try to tell me its between a 20H and a 55, thats even dumber. And don't be a jackass when I explain to you that you have too many fish. Unless you're a retard, you should know that retail only survives as long as customers buy things. So the fact that I won't sell you things is only to help YOU. I'm not making any money when you walk out empty handed, but you are getting more time and health out of your fish. I'm sorry that no one explained tank sizes and fish limits with you, and that you want "lots of little fishes". You CAN have lots of little fishes when you get a bigger tank or get rid of the completely asinine mix of goldfish, silver dollars, and guppies you have crammed into a 20gal tank. And just so you know, I give zero fucks that your brother has some magical tank thats the size of a 45H but apparently holds 175gal and 6 Oscars. No, you can't have the meanest gold gourami we have in the tank so it'll "get rid of your goldfish". You're an idiot and I hope Centro is driving by when you leave and forgets how to use the breaks.

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