10 January 2012

Eternal Ferrets and Everlasting Hamsters

Firstly, this was done on the mobile app. So excuse any weirdness. And I would like to start with a reading from the book of lolcat.

First there was Limecat. Behold, he was mighty. And he did say "Meow" and life was created. Now humans did sin and Clock Spider shalt be borneth. Evil and Limecat did so fight. Limecat did tore off Clock Spiders appendage and flung it into the sun and thus it did became the gods of many religions. And Clock Spider did shalt try to strike Limecat on the lime. But behold, the lime of Limecat did was unbreakable. Yea, Limecat did swat ye Clock Spider and killed it. Behold, Eternal Ferret did arose from ye Clock Spider's body. Limecat and Eternal Ferret did fight on thou video. Behold, the fight was great and Limecat did win.Then came LUEshi who smited Limecat before his time. Behold, a carbon rod fell and the universe did collapse upon itself. Some examples : And the universe did say KABOOM!

Now onto the topic at hand. Stupid people who should neither own animals or breed.
As tonight was Tuesday night, it was truck night. This means I had work. And after the bettas in the food freezer and the flooding of Oscar Island, I was ready to call it a night. And then this woman comes in with her son. Let's call them Derpy and Derp Jr. She is a prime example of the type of human who should neither breed nor be allowed to care for any living creature. Be it fish, a hermit crab, a cricket....

So I'm standing by the ferret hex talking with one of the ferret regulars. Derpy is just behind her looking at fish chems, and she over hears the regular saying she lost 2 to cancer over the holidays. As I'm giving my condolences we hear "ferrets can die?!" from behind us. We turn to see Derpy looking at us and she asks again if ferrets do in fact pass away. I look at Regular, she looks back. Loss of words is obvious.
Just then Derp Jr comes racing over from the small animal wall screaming that he needs a hamster or he'll die. So I excuse myself from Regular and get snagged by Derpy who now wants to know what it takes to keep a hamster. I start with the normal basics; cage, bedding, food, water, chewing sticks, and a play wheel. Derpy then asks "hamsters need cages? I can't just stick it in a ball and let it loose in the house?" I say no, it needs a home. The ball is for short play times while you clean their cage up. Also, how will you feed it and give it water if its in the ball? To this I get "you have to feed them too?"...

By that point I asked the woman if she had ever owned a pet and if she fed her kid. I quickly got a "no" and a "well humans are different. Not all animals need to eat."
Normally I have some witty comeback, or something to point out the fact that they're retarded without actually saying it. But this time I was struck silent. I just stared at this woman and her son and wanted to ask that she never breed again and do us all a favor and never own any type of pet.


  1. This is probably the fault of your app, but this font is really a strain to read.

  2. Yeah, I just checked it on the computer and fixed it. Normally the font is all Veranda, but for some reason the app wants to make it all the title font...