22 April 2012

System Cleanout; Take 2

So Mike and I have decided to try out this 10 day cleanse thing. Yeah, I tried one of those earlier in the year and it did jack squat as far as I'm concerned. This new one, though, I have seen used and work the way its supposed to. My brother in law, his girlfriend, and some buddies tried out the Advocare line of dieting supplements and did the "24 Day Challenge" with pretty good results.

The diet plan is broken up into 2 sections: A 10 day cleanse and a 14 day "power diet". The 10 day cleanse is pretty much fiber drinks, lots of fruits and veggies, and adding probiotics to your system. The idea is to flush out your system of all the crap that's been building up over the years so that when you start the 14 day part your body is using the foods you eat properly. Mix that with a crap ton of working out at the gym, and boom, lost pounds and a healthier working body. Simple enough, if you can deal with the extremely strict food allowances and all the stuff you have to take along side of it. And by "extremely strict food allowances" I mean eating food that actually takes time to think about and prepare and not stuff out of a box. Such as no frozen fried chicken and french fries. More like grilled chicken with no sauces, only seasonings, and steamed veggies or salad. BUT, the salad has to have either fat free dressing at a very small serving size, or olive oil and seasonings. The steamed veggies cant have butter or anything to dip them in. So plain, grilled chicken, plain veggies, and a bowl of lettuce. Mmmmm...

So today was day one. Mike woke me up with "You're not going to like the morning fiber drink. I should get the camera ready to take pictures of this". I should of taken this as a real warning. I figured he was over exaggerating just to test me. Not so much. I open up the little drink mix packet and it looks like saw dust. No joke. It did though smell like oranges. I figured "alright, it smells pretty good. maybe I can just chug it and the orangey taste will cover up the gritty texture some how..." Not so much, again. Let me explain how this stuff looked in the mixer cup. Take saw dust, add 8oz of water. Shake the living hell out of it for a few minuets. You now have the consistency of extremely watery looking apple sauce with saw dust pieces floating around in it. Except said watery apple sauce doesn't smell like oranges anymore. It smells like weird, slightly off water. Apparently I had a pretty disgusted look on my face because Mike was already laughing at me. 

This was one of those cases of "you better just take it, because its not going to get any better by standing here glaring at it". So I took a deep breath and swigged a mouthful of this gross concoction. Luckily I was able to hold back because I nearly spit it out in the sink. A quick reread of the packaging says that you can also mix it with some kind of fat free drink. While I was digging around my pile of Crystal Light water mixes, Mike was pawing through the fridge. He finds a carton of Peach Orchard Tropicana juice that's fat free and I deem it useable regardless of the diet rules. It says Fat Free, so it counts in my book. I mix the swill into some juice hoping for something better to come out of this mess. Again.. Not so much. Now it's just sickeningly sweet gritty saw dust grossness. And now theres even more of it to drink. Great. After 15 minuets of sipping this stuff down, I finally finished the glass. Promptly afterwards I chugged a rather large glass of water to wash down the taste. This alone is pretty impressive to me because I hate water. 

Its been about 2hrs now since I drank that swill. My stomach is pretty confused. I don't think it knows whether or not its hungry or just trying to get past what I just dumped in it. I should though probably go down and try to eat something. Though with my options of apples, pears, grapes or salad, it's not wonder the diet says you'll eat about 5 times a day. I just hope this crap does something useful in the long run and we didn't waste our money....

BTW- Just for reference, on day one I weighed in this morning at 155lbs.     



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